Two fundamental questions pertaining to my current existence in the UAE and the global dispersal of my friends have been hounding me. Like carnivorous seagulls. Swooping. Pecking. Shitting everywhere.
I decided to sounding-board it with one of my trusty sounding boards, King K.
1st Burning Question
Me: Don't you wish you could FFWD a year or two just to check that everything is going to be OK? I am tired of being a grown up and being in charge of my own life. SOMEONE ELSE DO IT FOR ME PLEASE! [flashback to 1986: tantrum in Checkers. I threw a tub of chocolate yoghurt on the floor. Seconds later: got the hiding of my life].
KK: I feel like that, more often than not … I don’t think we ever truly feel equipped to deal with all the drama that comes with being an adult. I think some people just fake it well.
Me: Shit. That’s that one answered. God Dr Phil - you're good!
KK: Thanks – but I also think that sometimes we don’t realise how much we are taking on [being overseas] and then can’t understand why we feel down. Thing is human beings are averse to change so we resist it… The fact that you have been through so many changes, with relative ease – doesn’t mean it hasn’t impacted you.
Me: You could sell this.
2nd Burning Question
Me: Don't know what is up with me today, but I feel excommunicated from everyone [meaning, all my mates in Jozi and London] even though I am in touch with them all on a daily basis … do you know what I mean?
KK: I think it is totally normal… You feel like you’re out of sight out of mind; even if it is normal, it kinda feels weird when people are out and about doing stuff that you would usually be doing with them. Some days it can feel like a slap in the face if you are really missing those people – there are days I can’t even reply to mails because I feel as if I have totally missed out.
I don’t think it’s ever easy… But I also think, on the whole most of your mates have done the same; so while you might feel out of the loop now it will all return to normal when you see them, because most of them can deal with that type of thing. I think for people with few friends who haven’t done the whole travel thing – it’s more difficult.
Me: Fookmi.
You are all over it. I am keeping this email as a self-help reference manual ...
Not to sound like a martyr … but some days, being overseas is more difficult than others. Right now, 90% of my best mates are painting London red, 10% jolling in Joz-town.
Faark it. I am not an exile for life fergodsakes. I chose Dubai for now and, much like Detroit, “I love this city”.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
You like Detroit!?!!? Can't say I have ever taken to that city, but then again, I also can't say I have ever visited that city.
Good to hear your mate is giving you great advice. Her advice actually sounds very similar to that of a mate of mine, who actually is currently living in your desert town too! Maybe it is something in that sandy air that gives you guys wisdom.
Good luck with the existential dilemmas. And yeah, your mates will always be ready and around and just like they've always been as soon as you meet up again.
Hey Champs,
Actually, I have never been to Detroit, I just have had that song in my head since yesterday!
You know, King K is actually a chap ... I think the sand and the whole wise men in the desert thing was no accident.
Thanks sister! And good luck with the insomnia ...
It sounds terrible to say this, but I guess I'm glad pretty much everyone is going through this crisis thing.
I'm also glad you're enjoying Dubai - see my comment on High in Dubai's latest post for more info :)
As for my 2 cents on why you feel left out, perhaps its because you're viewing your time in Dubai as an interim step, not a final destination. You're wanting it to hurry on by so you can get to London to join 90% of your mates, rather than valuing the 0.01% of your mates there in Dubai with you. So, my advice? You chat to them every day anyway, you may be missing out on what they're doing for the next year, but when you get there eventually, you'll slip right back in with them (and hopefully meet a whole new circle of friends too - always good to mix it up a bit). And then, you'll realise that you're the one who's one-up on them, because you'll have lived in 2 foreign cities and not 1 like them, so you're richer for the experience.
Ok, I'm sorry for Psych 101-ing you.
the end :)
Why thank you Ant.
It is good to know that other people feel at a loose end a lot of the time I must say. Without sounding morbid ...
Just spent almost 2 years in London actually - so I've done the starting out in a new place thing a few times. Spend a lot of time missing people wherever in the world I am. Wouldn't swop those experiences for anything though.
Thanks for the Psyching ...
you do have friends in CT....chopped liver :-)
wahahahahaha! LIVER-MANIA!!!!! i had written you off cos you never poke me on facebook anymore!!
hello my little weetbix cracker!
Wow - spot on with the King's analysis. Know exactly the feeling of reading a friend's email and thinking, "that could be me.. I was there. That would've been me if I was still there... why isn't that me!"
Or something similar. But at the same time, I do on occassion get replies from friends telling me how jealous they are of my adventures. So win-some lose-some, I guess.
TGIT tomorrow, so it's all good in the desert 'hood. It's my first day back at work tomorrow... am having brain freeze just thinking about it.
Koeks, your first day is a Thursday? Well out sister. Good luck for that - am sure you'll land a big one!
Yup, hearing you on the 2-way envy thing. Grass is greener, ad nauseum...
First day at work is a Thursday, and the end of the month too.
Randomness.
H - I see I finally got a mention.
I knew that "poke" would get your attention. I must say Dubai is a far better option than LND!
I'm in JHB for the weekend, want anything?
3rd Ant: did you actually attend any of those psych 101 lectures...
Kotters - you know I love a poke now and then.
Damn you. Please bring me an SA GQ mag?
Post a Comment